Breezy is off the Wheezy

Awww, here's a baby Shadow, bounding toward the camera. She was definitely a playful puppy, there's no doubt about that.



She would drive Shugie crazy (yes, mom, I know you guys spelled it "Sugie" but I like to spell it more phonetically... besides, I always thought it was "Shugie"). Shugie passed away last year. She was a sweet dog. We got her when I was nine.



Shugie had a hard time outrunning Shadow. This was a common sight.



Shugie and Shadow really had an appreciation for nature... as long as nature had squirrels in its branches.



Chasing squirrels is an exhausting pasttime.



I always thought this was a creepy picture... Shadow looks more like a black ET with a wig. Or some kind of alien lifeform here... I liked hangin' out with the Shad-meister.



Goofball..

Yet again... this is becoming ridiculous. There are far too many blog-worthy frustrations in such a short period of time.

Let's start this off on a good note shall we? Last week I watched the finale of my guilty pleasure, America's Next Top Model. And SNOW BLACK won!!! Yay!! That's who I was rooting for even though it was a tough call this season. Peruse her complete portfolio. It's pretty stellar. I wish I was that pretty! Joanie was a contender. I mean, look at these two Cover Girl shots. Can you really choose? Make 'em both winners!



But our Snow Black pulled through to win it all. We love Snow Black!

Okay let's get down and dirty now... Earlier this week, I was asked to proofread a 35-page marketing plan for a potential client. It took me an hour and 15 minutes and I found numerous blunders. No problem though. Yesterday at 4:30 - an hour before closin' time - Brent brings the same marketing plan up to me for a final proof.

He says, "I looked through this twice. I don't think you'll find anything. I made most of your changes. Some of them were very subjective changes though."

Umm what? Did I hear that right? I do not make subjective changes. My bible is the AP Stylebook and everything I mark is justified. The things he considered "subjective." I am truly offended.

Ah, so "...within the next two month..." is correct is it?? And I thought he read through this thing twice. Hey - and why don't you throw a few more "verys" in there?? I'll let a "very" slide every now and then. If it's part of a phrase and sounds weird without it, it stays. But I learned from the best of the best and he told us nearly every day that "very" is completely unnecessary and we were not, under any circumstances, to use it.

Since when did taking out a word or phrase because it makes the sentence redundant become "subjective?" Oh, and I suppose that marking run-on sentences is also just something that is a personal, "subjective," pet peeve. Right...

This has got to stop. He needed this thing finished last night. He wanted me to stay and help him put it all together after I proofed it one final time. Well that obviously did not happen. I actually stayed past 5:30 for this. If he had made the changes the first time around, it would have been done in a timely fashion. In the name of productivity, these people need to start listening to me. If they don't make the changes the first time around, what makes me think they'll make them the second time? If this error-ridden nightmare goes out as is, I sure as heck do not want to be held accountable. What is my purpose here? They change the things that I write (and make them worse), they make me write stuff and then trash it and let the client write it (can't wait to see that) and they don't heed my proofreading corrections.

Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to buy the updated AP Stylebook and keep it here. So when I proof things, I can say, "Reference AP book, page whatever." I am seriously going to do this.

Moving on...

After a healthy rant with both my mom and my dad, Brett and I drank some wine, had a nice chat, and decided to have a swim. But first, I slammed my finger in the front door. Almost exactly one year (14 months) since I slammed my thumb in my car door and fractured it. I sure hope this isn't becoming an annual thing. Thankfully, it's not as bad as last year's door slamming. It hurt like hell but it's just swollen and badly bruised. I can still move it and do things with it.

So what did we do next? Jumped into a cold pool. It was exhilarating.

Ahhh and now I'm at work again. Let's hope it's better than yesterday...

*sigh* I started today in such a good mood. I actually got 8 full hours of sleep. I woke up chipper. It's Friday. I've got my tickets to see The Da Vinci Code tonight, which I am excited for despite the lackluster - and some downright scathing - reviews; I bet those reviewers were Catholic.

Anyway. I wrote a block of copy for a client. I thought it was pretty good. I took my direction and ran with it. So then I never got any feedback, and the guy whom I sent the copy to walked by my desk so I asked him how it worked. And he goes, "Oh it was okay, I had to tweak it a lot but it eventually worked." Umm.. Who is the copywriter here? That's right, it's ME, not him. So then just a few minutes ago he comes up and says, "Hey, Rob wants to talk to us about this copy." He got praised on the layout. I got blasted for "my" copy. And that really pisses me off, you know? Because I'm getting criticized for something I didn't even write. And I'm going to go talk to him about this as soon as he gets off the phone because that is really just plain mean. After Rob was done, this guy goes, "So do you wanna go fix those things?"

Gimme a gun....

"I am not. happy. I'm tired, I'm cold and I just got circumcized. And now there's a d*mn camera in my face."

This is Jessica's precious little baby. That's it. I'm going to have to sell plasma or something so I can afford the gas to make an emergency trip to Wichita because I HAVE to see this little guy! Jessica, he's undeniably cheekies.

Tuesday was a sad day. My mom and dad had to put Shadow, our 12-year-old lovable black Lab, to sleep. Although projecting a happy aura, Shadow was extremely anemic, possessed cancerous tumors and was suffering from internal bleeding. So if it wasn't evident that she was suffering, it would have been soon.

I didn't even get to say goodbye. :(

So once I'm able to get my hands on some photos, be on the lookout for a pictorial tribute to a wonderful member of our family who was there for half of my life. We'll miss you, Shadow!

This was hilarious - I just had to post it.

The Fug Life

Dear Paris Hilton,



Put them away.

Love,

The 6 Billion Residents of the Planet Earth. We've ALL seen them already.

PS: Despite the fact that you're desperately wearing it open to the waist, that dress is cute, and your hair looks sweet. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO AND EFF IT UP?

Brett and I had a little getaway to the Lake of the Ozarks. We both had Friday off and headed out. We arrived at beautiful Osage Beach in the early evening. Well, as beautiful as it could be in cold, rainy weather. It rained the whole time. But we had planned on this for the past two weeks so we were just going to suck it up and make the most of it. Our helpful props in this endeavor? A small bottle of Jagermeister and some wine. The alcohol did its job! We had a BLAST. We went to the restaurant by the hotel to order some food and thought, why not take a tequila shot? Then we ran down by the water while we were waiting on our food. That is a STEEP hill, let me tell you. We had some problems trying to get back up. The sidewalk didn't like us too well. Later on that evening I had the brilliant idea to get in the shower. I proceeded to slip and fall flat on my butt - hard. It didn't phase me at the time, but I woke up the next morning to a bruised ass bone. Have any of you ever bruised an ass bone?? It hurts!!

The rain decided to stop for a few hours on Saturday so Brett and I took advantage and rented a Jon Boat. I had no idea what to look forward to. As it turns out, this is a Jon Boat. As the guy is showing us how to run it, he goes, "This isn't a big deal but there's a small hole at the front of the boat." Umm, what? Is that supposed to calm my nerves?? The water is choppy, it is windy as all get out, and he tells us there is a HOLE at the front of the boat? Fan-frickin'-tastic. Luckily, Brett knows how to run a boat and did so beautifully. But goodness - we hit some waves that were so large, we bounced on our seats quite viciously. Not so fun. But the waters eventually calmed down and it wasn't bad at all, just chilly.

That night, I subjected Brett to the poison that is Shoney's. I felt (feel) terrible!! We went to Shoney's every now and then when I was a kid and just because I wanted to relive an insignificant childhood memory, Brett got a mild bout of food poisoning. He was sick that evening and all day Sunday. I think I had built up an immunity to Shoney's food so it didn't bother me. Poor Brett!

Saturday night at 11:30 I got a call from a friend saying that Jessica had gone into labor. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got another call at 6:30 a.m. saying she had her baby. Awwwwwwwwwwww..... Jessica called me herself last night which surprised me. She told me a couple of weeks ago that everyone was saying to her, "Call me when the baby is born!" and she was saying how she didn't want to call everyone right away so she had Baby Daddy, Paul, and some other people call everyone up. Besides, I knew she'd be exhausted and preoccupied with her new bundle of joy. So imagine my surprise when she called me at 9:30 last night! A bit shocked. His name is Gage (not sure if I'm spelling that right), he's 8 pounds and 20.25" with a full head of brown hair and, of course, blue eyes. When she called me I could hear him crying in the background. He sounded sooooooo adorable!!!!!!! I cannot WAIT to see him. He's got a warm, roomy crib to sleep in because of his Aunt Brianne. I'm not really his aunt but I am dubbing myself as such.