Friday, February 23, 2007


My fingers are missing the keys (hey - it's Friday - I'm entitled to a little bit of alcoholic-beverage-fun), so here's a post from my favorite Web site:

Well Played Halle Berry...

I miss Halle Berry's kicky short haircut, the one that was practically her signature for such a long time. Not that she can't rock a full head of hair, but the pixie was cute on her and she is one of those rare individuals with a perfect face that can carry off that sort of cut.
However, that's really the only thing I can say about her that isn't a bit disgustingly glowing. Obviously, I don't know her personally, but...

... the woman sure can wear a dress. It'd be very easy for that neckline to look overly constrictive, or to push things down or up or out in an awkward way, or even to sit low enough that the effect is slightly droopy. But not on Halle. Of course. Everything looks properly lush and plump and fluffed, and the sheen of the dress is stunning against her lovely skin.

Damn, I can't even work up a nice, satisfying resentment of her, no matter how hard I try. I'm just happy for her and I kind of want her to take me shopping. Now, as I said, I don't know her, so maybe she's a complete nightmare and likes to wash her dishes with bourbon and eats nails and uses kittens to scrub the bathroom floor. I don't know her life. But it certainly is a pleasure to watch her wear clothes, and she manages to do it without exuding any kind of arrogance -- there's not really any of that "Yeah, I'm hot, you envious sadsacks, and I KNOW IT, so SUCK ON YOUR SORRY ASSES" stuff going on, nor any desperation for attention; she just seems to go out there and quietly glow and avoid making a spectacle of herself. She is her own best accessory, and she's developed a real knack for picking clothes that enhance her rather than wear her.

Like I said: Bitch.
(is it just me or does Halle Berry kinda look like a black Julia Roberts?)

Sigh. Still isn't working.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

When the president talks to God - Bright Eyes

When the president talks to God
Are the conversations brief or long?
Does he ask to rape our women's rights
And send poor farm kids off to die?
Does God suggest an oil hike
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
Are the consonants all hard or soft?
Is he resolute all down the line?
Is every issue black or white?
Does what God say ever change his mind
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
Does he fake that drawl or just merely nod?
Agree which convicts should be killed?
Where prisons should be built and filled?
Which voter fraud must be concealed
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
I wonder which one plays the better cop
We should find some jobs, the ghetto's broke
No, they're lazy, George, I say we don't
Just give 'em more liquor stores and dirty coke
That's what God recommends

When the president talks to God
Do they drink near beer and go play golf
While they pick which countries to invade
Which Muslim souls still can be saved?
I guess God just calls a spade a spade
When the president talks to God

When the president talks to God
Does he ever think that maybe he's not?
That that voice is just inside his head
When he kneels next to the presidential bed
Does he ever smell his own bullshit
When the president talks to God?

I doubt it

I doubt it

Watch them play it on Jay Leno here.

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